In This Together
by AlexForrest5
Summary: My take on events after Luke gets expelled and Noah breaks up with him. WARNING: strong language. A story from a few years ago that I'm now uploading here. Hope you enjoy my work - feedback is super-appreciated, including constructive criticism.
1. Chapter 1

Noah sat on the bench in Old Towne, sipping his cup of coffee ever so slowly. His shift at Java was over and he didn't have any more classes today, but he really, really didn't feel like going home. All he wanted was to forget how shitty life was at the moment, and seeing Luke would be a very vivid reminder.

He was stunned at how their lives had completely spiraled out of control in such a short space of time. If he only had a time machine, he'd go back to when Luke first decided to run for presidency of the student body - to tell him it was a stupid, pointless, asinine idea that he should drop immediately. But of course, back then, he hadn't imagined that the situation would turn out like this in his worst nightmares. He didn't know how emotionally invested Luke was, how personal the election was for him, and resultantly – what measures he might resort to in order to win.

If Luke had lost the election and that was it, they'd deal. But losing the actual election was the least of their worries now; Luke had lost himself in his blind determination to beat Kevin, given up things that made him Luke. Noah tried to step in and prevent that, but to no avail. When Luke had already cheated, he attempted damage control, telling him to come clean; it was just as useless. Noah didn't question that Luke loved him; he knew it, felt it every single day. But those feelings of love couldn't have been as strong as the hatred, the anger, the seething resentment Luke felt towards Kevin. His choice in the matter made that clear.

Noah had no idea how he could just forget that his boyfriend cheated, put aside the fact that Luke was president due to stealing the election, but things got even worse before he had any time to contemplate that. The dean called him in to openly ask if Luke had rigged the election. Noah felt his world collapsing around him. He wanted to put his fist through the window of the dean's tastefully appointed office. _Why, Luke? Why put me in this fucking situation? How am I supposed to choose between what's right and what's gonna protect my boyfriend?_ He had warned Luke not to do this, done everything in his power to keep this from happening. And now he was forced to be the one giving up his boyfriend to the people in charge.

Noah felt like shit for what he did. He would have felt like shit if he'd lied, too. It was a no-win situation. What he wouldn't give for the dean to have called in someone else, for him not to have faced that choice. It wouldn't have prevented Luke from getting caught, he knew that much, but at least then neither of them would have to live with the knowledge that Noah was the one to turn him in. Noah believed that he did the right thing, that he couldn't have become part of the lying and cheating he'd tried so desperately to talk Luke out of, but it didn't make him feel any better. Nor, obviously, did the fact that Luke got expelled for what he did – technically making Noah responsible for the destruction of his future, whether he could have helped it or not.

In the end, it all came back to Kevin. Noah was sure of it. He didn't blame Kevin for what had happened, at least not completely, but he sure as hell blamed Luke's issues with him. He was sick of it, sick of whatever Luke couldn't put behind him hanging over them like a dark cloud, sabotaging their relationship and ultimately Luke's entire life. So even when Luke seemed to recognize his error in stealing the election, Noah couldn't just take him back. Luke had to figure out why Kevin affected him so much and put a stop to it; they couldn't go on with their lives before he did. In hindsight, Noah was already feeling guilty – again, some more – for refusing to get back together, for turning Luke down when he looked so sad and pained. But he didn't know what else to do.

"Hey, Noah."

The gentle, kind voice lifted him from his thoughts, and he looked up to see Alison. "Hey," he offered her a rather thin smile, "What's up?"

"The worst day of everyone's lives, apparently," she gave a sad chuckle and sat down next to him. "Poor Luke and Casey. I can't believe this is happening."

Noah immediately looked down at the pavement. Alison had clearly been brought up to speed with recent events, and he could not handle this right now; not another person telling him he'd betrayed Luke when he was feeling awful enough as it was.

"I'm not about to blame you for anything, you know," she offered, interpreting his expression correctly. "If I'd been in that position, I wouldn't have been able to lie either. I tried to talk Casey out of it just like you did with Luke. I just wish they would have listened."

"It just sucks so much," Noah understated, looking back at her. "We got into this stupid election a lot more than we should have. After they posted that video of Luke on the web, and after what those freaks did to you, I honestly didn't know how he could even keep going. But he did, because it was so important to him, and I just prayed that he'd win in the end. Instead, we get this…" he shook his head in defeat.

"How's Luke doing?" she wondered, clearly concerned.

"Not well," he sighed, tossing his now empty coffee cup in a trash can. "Kevin was doing a number on him enough as it was. Now that he's been kicked out of school, things are really bad."

"Then what are you doing here?" Alison asked in surprise. "Go find him. He needs you."

Noah bit his lip, knowing full well that that last statement of hers was correct, yet she wasn't aware of everything. "That's… kind of a problem right now," he admitted awkwardly. "Luke and I, well, we broke up. Not permanently or anything," he quickly added as her eyes flashed in shock, "It's just because of the way things are right now."

"Noah, that's terrible," she said sadly, gently touching his shoulder. "I wish he wouldn't blame you for what's happened. He should know by now that it was his own fault."

"No, I was the one to break up with Luke," he explained, feeling even shittier about it now that he had to spell out the situation to Alison. She looked, if possible, even more agitated.

"Why would you do something like that? I get that you're angry, what Luke did was way out of line, but you can't punish him for it! He's already being punished enough, that's for sure."

"It's not about that…". Noah groaned, finding the conversation less and less pleasant with every exchange. It wasn't Alison's fault, she was just trying to be supportive, but he hated having to explain what was going on and justify his actions yet again. "It's about Kevin," he clarified, meeting her eyes again. "He's what started this whole mess. Not because Luke decided to run against him, even though I wish to God he hadn't; because meeting him again completely messed Luke up. Even when he and I are together, all he can think about is how bad Kevin is making him feel. Alison…" he hesitated, he had a feeling admitting this would be pathetic, but if they'd gone this far he might as well finish. "Luke and I can't be together right now because he hates Kevin more than he loves me." There. He'd said it, and it sounded even more pitiful out in the air than it did in his head.

Alison stared at him for a beat, looking as though she couldn't believe her eyes.

"That's it. Come on," she decided, standing up and pulling Noah off the bench with her.

"W-what are you doing?"

"Nothing. _You_, however, are going home to Luke," she informed him.

"Listen, that's not gonna do any – " he started to protest, but she interjected.

"No, I've already listened. Now it's your turn. I was mad at Casey too, but he was down and needed someone to be there for him, so I was. It would have been no use to stay away and let him suffer on his own. You know what? Fuck Kevin and the issues you guys have with him, alright? Luke needs you, and you're sitting here feeling sorry for yourself!".

Noah was rather stunned, but soon realized she was simply telling him the truth he didn't want to hear. He'd left Luke on his own during his time of greatest need. Luke didn't need space, or alone time to figure out how he was feeling about Kevin, or any more reminders of how badly he'd screwed up; he needed _Noah_. It was definitely time to head back to the farm.

"You're right," he nodded, feeling rather ashamed of himself. "I'm gonna go see how he's doing. Thanks, Alison."

She leaned forward to kiss him affectionately on the cheek. "The next time I see you two, I expect you to be all lovey-dovey and in a much better mood, you got that?"

"Yeah," he chuckled and started to walk away. "I'll see you later." It was completely unrelated, but he'd just realized that Alison kept comparing Casey and herself to Luke and him. It hadn't been the first time he noticed the way these two talked about each other.

"Hey, Alison?" he spun around to give her one last, knowing look before leaving. "You and Casey should really go out, like, on a _date_ sometime."

The delighted blush on her face sent Noah off to his mission feeling marginally more cheerful.

Tbc...


	2. Chapter 2

Luke sat in his grandmother's kitchen, pouring himself yet another shot of the Johnny Walker Blue he'd snagged from the Snyder liquor cabinet. It was ironic that such fine scotch was not being used for the celebration of a happy event, but rather for Luke's celebration of his own misery and humiliation. He knew he was inflicting possibly irreversible damage on his kidney, but he didn't give a rat's ass about that at the moment. All he cared about was to numb everything he was feeling right now. No one was here to comfort him – not his family, not his friends, not his boyfriend. He could hardly be blamed for taking comfort in a bottle of whiskey.

Oh, but he didn't deserve comfort, did he? Because this whole thing was his own fault, everyone made sure to remind him of that. He was vaguely reminded of a trashy thriller with Jennifer Aniston and Clive Owen he'd watched a couple of years ago, "Derailed". The film's trailer stated that "one move can derail your life." Apparently, even D-grade movies got it right sometimes. Luke could be a little mischievous at times, sure, but he wasn't a cheater; he always did what he felt was right. On most days, under most circumstances, he wouldn't even entertain the notion of stealing an election. But he'd been pushed too far. First Kevin showed up again, then he allowed his people to make fun of Luke, to post that fucking video of him as a fairy, even to assault Alison; and when the election day came and Kevin was about to win due to buying people drinks, Luke couldn't take it anymore.

It was the early victory party that sent him off the edge. When he saw Kevin and his buddies celebrating, delighted that their dirty politics had beaten weak, pathetic, _gay_ Luke Snyder, he snapped. In that one moment of stupidity, of short-sightedness, he agreed to the stuffing of the ballot box. All that mattered to him was the thought of winning, of finally getting one over Kevin, proving that he was better and stronger and teaching the bastard a lesson. The fact that he wouldn't win for real was beside the point. So Luke opted for this backdoor victory, but he never got the chance to enjoy it; before he knew it, the truth was out. And his life was instantly derailed. Not only was he not president, but he was kicked out of school for what he'd done. His fellow students – _formerly_ fellow students, that was – clearly thought he was a joke now; even those who'd voted for him most likely regretted it. His parents were shocked by his behavior – Luke had never seen them look more disappointed. And his boyfriend left him.

His boyfriend. Or was it ex-boyfriend now? Perhaps the final straw that had broken the camel's back was _how_ the truth got out. How Luke wished someone else had ratted him out to the dean, like maybe someone from Kevin's camp who had found out about the rigged results. He wouldn't mind more reasons to hate Kevin at this point. But no, Luke's boyfriend of all people – the one who could make all of this bearable if he was still there for Luke - had been the one to give him up, because apparently his nobility did not allow him to lie. Ironic, just like Luke's use of the whiskey.

Luke couldn't believe it; that after all they'd been through, Noah still couldn't do this one thing for him, still left him to suffer for his one moment of poor judgment. As though Luke had not literally taken a bullet for Noah, had not been stuck in a wheelchair for a long time so that they could be together. As though Luke had not spent months in agony having to watch Noah married to someone else, because a woman they barely knew was apparently more important than what they had. As though Luke had not comforted and supported Noah, even when Noah repeatedly pushed him away, during his boyfriend's period of grief for his father – the father who didn't exactly deserve to be grieved for, having tried to put Luke six feet under more than once. As though Luke had not taken Noah back without question after his boyfriend nearly left him to join the army. Tears of pain and anger started to form in Luke's eyes as he remembered Noah's sweet promise, "You don't have to worry about me going anywhere, 'cause you and I are gonna be together for a very, very long time." As he remembered Noah oh-so-recently assuring him, "I'm always gonna be on your side." _What a fucking liar._

Realizing the direction his thoughts had gone, Luke let out a hollow, bitter laugh. Of course, it was easy to blame Noah for this mess. Blame him because he wouldn't actively help Luke steal the election. Ever since Luke got into this race, Noah could see where things were headed. He told Luke over and over again that he should quit if he was only in it to beat Kevin, and while he may have been annoyingly righteous about it, Luke knew deep down that Noah had a point. He just forced himself not to see it. Same for when Noah clarified that he wouldn't support Luke in cheating and was in fact disgusted by the very idea. He had done everything he could to stop Luke from making this mistake, but he couldn't be expected to tell the dean an outright lie to protect Luke from the consequences. In fact, he was horrified to learn of these consequences when Lily told him about Luke's expulsion. Noah had not voluntarily turned Luke in, and when forced to answer a direct question, he told the truth not to get Luke punished, but to not become a cheater himself. It was preposterous for Luke to want to drag Noah down with him – especially since the dean wouldn't have just taken Noah's word for it if he lied, he would have hired a team of experts to check the results, and then Noah would have gotten in trouble as well. Would that have made Luke feel better? Probably not. What _would_ have made him feel better was if Noah hadn't broken up with him, because of Kevin of all things.

Kevin. Now, there was a much better person to blame. Logically, that son of a bitch should have been in Luke's debt for the rest of his life, considering that life would have ended two years ago if it wasn't for Luke. Kevin remembered what Luke had done for him, had even mentioned it on Halloween; how could he treat Luke this way? Luke didn't care if fucktard Mark had been the one behind the nasty campaign. Kevin could have stopped all of it if he really wanted, but he didn't; winning was a lot more important to him than not trashing the person who had saved his life. And in the end, it was too much for Luke to take. He couldn't just stand there and watch Kevin celebrate his upcoming victory, completely powerless to do anything about it. Just as powerless as he'd been back when his best friend called him a faggot. So he cheated. It killed him how this desperate attempt to turn the tables on Kevin ended up making things ten times worse. Not only had he lost the election, he'd lost everything. To everyone on campus, he wasn't just the loser in the election - he was a loser, period, a cheater who'd rigged the results after basing his entire campaign on fairness and ethics. Meanwhile, Kevin came off as the decent, moral one, got to be president and watch in content as Luke's entire world fell apart. Luke slammed his fist on the table, burning inside from the knowledge that he couldn't do anything else.

Ultimately, the worst part of it all was that everyone was right. He could hate Kevin 'til the end of the world, he could be frustrated with Noah, but it was all Luke's own fault. He had single-handedly thrown away everything he had in one accursed moment where logic and reason were overruled by emotion.

A knock on the door lifted Luke from his thoughts. "It's open," he called out flatly, not bothering to look up at whoever it was, then heard the door opening and footsteps approaching.

"Luke," Brian's voice called out. "How are you doing?"

"I'm great," he smiled bitterly at Brian, indicating the bottle of scotch. "Got plenty of company."

Brian eyed the bottle apprehensively. "Drinking is not a solution to your problems, Luke. It's only gonna make them worse, given what your grandmother told me about your kidney."

Luke rolled his eyes. _Great… time for another after-school special._ "You know what? Maybe this is gonna come off as blunt, or whatever, but I don't give a shit what you think. How do you like _that_?" he laughed stupidly.

He expected Brian to get mad; in fact, he wanted him to. It would be nice if that eternally cool and collected façade of his changed for once. Even better if he just decided to leave. But Brian, looking entirely unaffected by Luke's comment, merely sat down in front of him.

"Be that as it may, your actions don't just affect you, Luke," he said sharply. "They affect the people you love, like Lucinda, and I don't want to see her hurt. Maybe it's time you shaped up and stopped feeling sorry for yourself."

Luke pretended to consider Brian's words. "Right… except the people I love think I'm an absolute fuck-up right now, and guess what? They've actually got a point. So I would appreciate it, Brian, if you cut it out with the speechifying and just let me get wasted in peace." He offered Brian a faux-friendly wiggle of his eyebrows.

Brian's patience remained intact. "You know, Luke, maybe you don't realize how lucky you are."

Luke laughed darkly, an almost maniacal laugh most unlike him. "_Lucky_? Really? How do you figure that one out?"

"Not everyone has a support system like yours. A lot of people would kill to have such a large family that loves and takes care of them. Is this how you pay them back? Sitting here damaging your health?"

And though Luke was itching to spit out another obnoxious retort, this particular comment of Brian's broke his resolve. Suddenly, he started crying out loud, banging his head against the table. Of course Brian was right. Everyone was right and he was wrong, and he had no idea how to fix what he'd done. It felt like he was sinking deeper and deeper into this black hole, and there was no coming back. There was no light in the end of the tunnel anymore.

"Luke," Brian moved closer to him and took hold of Luke's arms in an attempt to stop his shaking. "It's okay. You just need some help to get through this."

Luke shook his head, but no words came out; he was too busy crying to form coherent sentences. Brian gathered him into his arms. Luke was surprised, but grateful. Maybe he was a screw-up, but there was someone who didn't recoil from him like he had the plague. Someone who wanted to comfort him. He wasn't alone anymore.

"I know it doesn't seem that way, but everything's gonna be alright," Brian promised. He pressed a kiss to Luke's forehead, surprising him even more. Then to Luke's cheek. Then to Luke's mouth.

For a second, it felt good. Someone was kissing him in spite of everything, didn't consider him a pariah like everyone else. Someone really cared.

And then, even through the drunken haze in Luke's mind, he remembered who was kissing him like this, on the mouth. It was Brian. _His grandmother's boyfriend_.

Horrified, he tried to pull away, but with all the alcohol in his blood, his movements felt sluggish, his limbs heavy. Meanwhile, Brian was kissing him deeper, and his brief joy had turned to revulsion and it had to stop –

His ears picked up on the sound of the kitchen door opening again. Brian moved away from Luke as though he had been burnt, but Luke immediately realized that it was too late when his confused eyes fell on the new arrival.

It was Noah.

Tbc…


	3. Chapter 3

The happy, hopeful feeling Noah had as he headed to the Snyder farm evaporated the second he walked in the door. Now, he felt as though someone had spilled a bucket of ice water over him. The person he was looking for was present, all right, but he wasn't alone, and he didn't seem to be sitting there waiting for Noah, either.

Luke was being kissed by Brian. _Brian._

As the two broke apart to stare at Noah, he spotted the bottle of whiskey on the table, Brian's caught-in-the-act expression and Luke looking completely out of it, and it wasn't too difficult to put two and two together. Noah's shock quickly turned into disgust. Which quickly turned into fury.

He took several steps forward, his eyes boring holes into Brian's skull. "He's drunk, isn't he?" he asked rhetorically, in barely controlled rage.

"Noah," Brian stood up nonchalantly and held up his hand in a 'peace' gesture, "This isn't what it looks like. Please, just let me explain – "

But Noah, utterly livid, was in no mood for the foundation manager's perfectly reasonable explanations. He moved even closer to Brian until their faces were inches apart, and gritted, "Get out of here. _Now_."

Brian looked taken aback, as though he hadn't expected this show of aggression from such a mild-mannered young man. After a beat, he resigned himself to Noah's demand and started to walk off in the direction of the door. He stopped mid-way to cast another hesitant glace at Luke and Noah, but the look of loathing on Noah's face quickly made him take his leave.

Noah could hardly believe what he'd just seen. And to think he had always been the one to defend Brian to Luke... he was revolted by the realization that someone they all trusted had just taken advantage of a drunk, vulnerable Luke, that it might have even gone further than a kiss if he hadn't arrived. The mess they were in had just turned even bigger. Noah closed his eyes and forced his white-hot fury to subside; he was there to help Luke, which he couldn't do if his own emotions were out of check.

He'd deal with Brian later.

After a long release of breath, Noah turned around to look at his boyfriend. He had never seen Luke look worse, including when he was lying in a hospital bed after being shot and pushed down a hill by Noah's father. Luke just stared at him dazedly, as though he had not noticed the scene between Noah and Brian take place a moment earlier. He seemed completely out of touch with his surroundings.

"Luke…" he muttered, half to Luke, half to himself. "How could you do this to yourself?".

"D'you just say something?" Luke piped up, eyebrow raised.

"Yeah, I said something about how I can't believe you'd get drunk like this. Seriously, you look like hell."

"Thanks, Noah. That's _real_ nice of you." Luke sniggered and reached for his glass, but Noah quickly gripped his hand and pulled it away.

"What has gotten into you?" he demanded, trying unsuccessfully to meet Luke's eyes. "You really need some help."

Luke angrily wrenched his hand away from Noah, then jumped out of his chair and backed away, as though determined to put some distance between them.

"I don't want any help from you!" he protested, pointing one hand in Noah's direction and using the other to grip the back of his chair for support. "You're a jerk. You _dumped_ me."

Luke's words stung horribly, but Noah knew he had to be the mature, reasonable one here; Luke needed him, even more badly than he'd realized when he decided to come. He couldn't just walk away because he was hurt. He was done doing that.

"Maybe, but we need to sober you up," he said firmly. "C'mon, just sit down."

Luke held his gaze for a beat, before giving a miserable laugh that did nothing to improve Noah's mood, and sinking back into the chair. "Fine. Whatever."

Noah sighed and walked over to the kettle to make some tea. Coffee would probably be better to sober Luke up, but he needed to get some sleep, too.

Luke indifferently gulped down the steaming mug of tea Noah placed in front of him, occasionally complaining that it was gross and he was never drinking tea again. Noah stared at him in concern all the while, but didn't say anything; trying to engage Luke in conversation right now would be an exercise in futility.

When Luke was done, Noah deposited his empty mug in the sink and took hold of his arm. "Alright, now we're gonna go upstairs and you're gonna get yourself some nice, long sleep."

"I don't need your help to get up the _stairs_, Noah," Luke slurred.

"Actually, since you're drunk enough to fall down those stairs right now, I'd say you do."

Luke reluctantly followed Noah upstairs, and after offering his boyfriend a drunken smile, closed his bedroom door behind him. Heaving a deep sigh, just wanting someone to tell him that the man on the other side of that door was going to be alright, Noah slowly looked away from it and started to walk back downstairs.

Tbc...


	4. Chapter 4

A couple of hours later, Luke woke up to an unwelcome combination of nausea and a massive headache. The memory of the day's events was a confused muddle in his head, as though they'd happened years and not hours ago. The last thing he could properly remember was downing shot after shot of whiskey in the kitchen. He grumbled and massaged his temple as it became clear why he couldn't remember anything else.

Barely dragging himself out of bed, Luke felt like vomiting, which he did as soon as he'd made it to the bathroom. He proceeded to take a long, hot, much-needed shower, and after changing into clean clothes, almost felt human again.

He tentatively made his way into the kitchen, stopping short when he spotted Noah sitting at the table. Noah was skimming his notes from some class or another, though he didn't seem to be particularly concentrated on what he was doing.

"Noah," Luke said in surprise. "What are you doing here?"

As he slowly looked up at his boyfriend, Noah was unsure what to say. He was relieved that Luke looked better than earlier, but didn't know how to take it from there. Sobering Luke up had been easy compared to what he had to do now – talk things through with him. He'd been sitting there for a while, trying to pass the time until Luke returned by studying, but his thoughts kept returning to Luke and what he should say to him; he hadn't been able to come up with much.

The awkwardness hung in the air for a long moment, until Noah mumbled, "I, uh, came by earlier to see how you were."

"How I was?" Luke lifted a semi-confused, semi-sardonic eyebrow.

"I know you're going through a hard time right now, I just wanted to make sure you were okay," Noah offered, rather lamely. He knew they weren't going to be able to dance around the subject much longer, but he had no idea how he was supposed to approach it.

Luke, for his part, studied Noah's features with just as much uncertainty. A part of him wanted to just let loose and start saying all the things on his mind: how scared and humiliated and ashamed of himself he was, how horrible he felt for letting everyone (including Noah himself) down, how much he just wanted some reassurance that everything was gonna be okay. But another part reminded him that he and Noah weren't together right now. It refused to let Luke run back into the arms of the boyfriend who had left him. He wasn't going to fall apart in front of Noah, not when they were like this.

"I'm okay," Luke said blandly, folding his arms almost in spite of himself. "I mean, this whole thing sucks, but I'll be fine." He figured this was a good compromise; he wasn't being honest, but he wasn't being obnoxious either. He rather wanted to add something along the lines of, "If that's all, maybe you should leave," but he decided to go for complete indifference instead. Noah could do whatever he wanted. _I – don't – care, _he told himself stubbornly.

It didn't come as a surprise to Noah that Luke was defensively retreating into his shell. He hadn't expected a warm welcome after their conversation at Java, and knew he didn't really deserve one. But he couldn't let himself off the hook by leaving, using Luke's attitude as an excuse. As difficult as it would be, they would have to figure things out, and he would have to be the initiator.

"Listen, we need to talk," Noah pointed out uncomfortably.

Luke's face hardened. "I don't - really think there's anything to talk about, Noah."

Noah was immensely frustrated, even if he wasn't surprised by this reaction, either. He didn't know what to say in order to get through to Luke. Before he could think of anything, the front door opened yet again and his head turned in its direction.

Lily walked into the kitchen, offering Luke a smile once she saw him. "Hi, honey. How was your day?". She barely finished the question before her eyes landed on Noah, her expression instantly turning more serious. "Oh, hi, Noah."

"Hi, Mrs. Snyder," muttered Noah, meeting her gaze for the briefest of moments.

Lily looked from her son to Noah and back again; it clearly wasn't too difficult to pick up on the tension between them. "I'm sorry, if I'm interrupting something I can just – "

"It's okay, Mom. Noah was just leaving," Luke stated coldly. He was mad at himself for somewhat losing control, for allowing Noah to see how angry he was, but he couldn't take it anymore. After hurting Luke so much, the least Noah could do was stay away. Seeing him just made the pain worse.

"Luke, please…". Something about Noah's desperation, about his heartfelt tone of voice, made Luke soften almost without realizing it. He sighed.

"Alright. Let's go upstairs," he said quietly. They left, Lily looking after them in concern.

As they entered his room, Luke slowly turned around to look at Noah, almost crossing his arms again but deciding to just slide them into his pockets instead. "So…".

"How do you feel?" Noah asked.

"Like hell, actually."

"Luke, what the hell were you thinking, getting drunk like that? With your kidney, you could be killing yourself."

Luke gave a bitter chuckle. "In case you haven't noticed, my life's pretty much over as it is, Noah. I don't think a bit of drinking makes that much of a difference."

Noah shook his head in disbelief. "You should have seen yourself earlier. You looked awful and you were all – " he stopped dead in his tracks. He had just remembered the very pressing issue of Brian kissing Luke earlier.

"What?"

Noah gulped. "Luke, how much do you remember?"

"Not much. Just that I started drinking. I think Brian stopped by at some point…" his brow arched suspiciously. "Why? Did I make a complete ass out of myself or something?"

"No…". Noah had absolutely no idea how to say this, but he had to. Anything except full disclosure between them – even if it meant telling Luke something that would horrify him - would complicate things further. He took a deep breath. "Luke, when I came to see you, Brian was here. He was kissing you."

This statement was followed by a very loud silence. Noah watched, his heart sinking, as the color slowly drained from Luke's face. "He… what?"

"He kissed you," Noah repeated, barely suppressing his disgust even now. "I'm sorry."

Noah's words had awoken the memory in Luke's mind. He relived the feeling of Brian holding him, of Brian's lips on his own, how comforting it seemed for a moment until reality sank in and he was squirming to get away. _What the hell?_

He had held it together so far – well, mostly (he started to remember more details about earlier; he was actually crying in Brian's arms before the kiss). He had managed to put on a brave face. So what if he'd been kicked out of school, if his friends and family and boyfriend didn't love him anymore, if his entire future had been destroyed because of what he had allowed himself to become… he was strong… he could handle it. Not anymore.

His legs gave way, Noah catching him just in time to sit him down on the bed. "Luke."

But Luke just shook his head, as the tears came streaming down his face again, more fiercely than before. As he began sobbing uncontrollably, Noah tried to gather him into his arms, but Luke wouldn't let him.

"I fucked everything up, Noah…" he said in between sobs. "I don't know what I'm supposed to do… and now this, with Brian…? It's just too much… "

"It's okay," insisted Noah.

"It's _not_ okay," Luke wept harder. "Nobody wants anything to do with me after what I did. My parents are so ashamed of me. And so are you."

Noah placed his hands on Luke's shoulders. "Luke, I want you to look at me. You have no idea how you make me feel. I couldn't be ashamed of you if I tried. I know we've been through so much, it doesn't always sound that convincing when I say it, but - I love you."

"You do?" Luke asked, voice quivering, lashes wet, eyes red. Noah had never seen him look more lost. "Still?"

Noah reached to wipe a tear from under Luke's left eye with his thumb. He locked eyes with Luke, ice blue diving into chocolate brown with an intensity that seemed to still Luke's heart and silence his fears.

"Always."

He leaned forward to gently kiss Luke, just a feathery, barely-there kiss that meant the world to Luke at that particular moment. After their lips parted, Luke finally relented and embraced Noah. He started sobbing again, but Noah could tell he just needed to let it all out at this point, and held him comfortingly as Luke's tears stained his t-shirt. He'd stay there as long as Luke needed. He was in no hurry.

Eventually, Luke pulled away from him, finally getting his breathing in order now that he'd calmed down. "I can't believe you came here for me after what I put you through. I mean, what kind of a boyfriend asks his guy to lie for him after he's been caught cheating?"

"I don't know," shrugged Noah, "What kind of a boyfriend leaves his guy after he's been kicked out of college?"

"Okay, so… we both suck," Luke decided. After glancing at each other momentarily, they both snickered. The tension seemed to have lifted at last.

"This is just so messed up," Luke admitted helplessly. "I have no idea what to do about Brian. How the hell am I supposed to tell my grandmother?"

"We'll figure out what to do about Brian later," stated Noah. "Right now, I'm more worried about you. About what Kevin's done to you."

Luke sighed. "Noah, I really don't want to talk about Kevin anymore. And I think the damage has already been done."

"I think you're wrong about that one. I'm sorry about giving you the cold shoulder at Java, but I stand behind what I said – you have serious issues with Kevin. And we have to deal with them if we're gonna deal with _this_." The fact that Noah said 'we', for the second time, lifted Luke's spirits a great deal. "Please, we need to be honest with each other."

Luke bit his bottom lip as he considered how to reply. It wasn't just a matter of being honest with Noah; he hadn't really dealt with his feelings about Kevin inside his own head. Making sense of them was no mean feat.

"We talked about this at Al's on the election day," he said slowly, "But I guess I didn't really get to the bottom to it. I was just looking for ways to justify what I was about to do. Fact it, I thought I'd put everything with Kevin behind me, but then he showed up again and it was like I'd never stopped hurting." He paused to exhale before continuing. "You have to understand, I was at a point in my life when I was still coming to terms with being gay. Most of my family was great about it, even my mom came around eventually, but I still had these endless conversations with myself: was it really normal to be what I was? Was it really okay? I kept examining myself, trying to decide whether I could really accept it or not."

"That sounds vaguely familiar," Noah said with a wistful little smile. "Believe me, you're not the only one who's been through that."

"Anyway, Kevin and I were best friends, even if we'd drifted apart a little. So I was scared to tell him, but on the other hand I thought, he's _such_ an awesome friend. He'll have my back no matter what. Maybe he'll even help me come to terms with it; I mean, every person who accepted me made me feel a little better, whether it was my cousin Jade, my friend Will, my dad … anyone. Now, I did have a crush on Kevin – "

"- and you don't anymore?" Noah interjected before he could stop himself.

"No, I don't. But I did back then, and deep down I was hoping that he'd tell me he felt the same." _Thank God he didn't, look what I'd be missing out on,_ he thought, smiling to himself. "But even if we'd just stayed friends, it would have meant so much to me. My best friend, who was as straight as an arrow, accepting the fact that I was gay."

Noah swallowed, knowing what was coming next. "But that's not what happened."

"No. Instead, he threatened to beat me up when Jade told him that I had feelings for him – how I wish she'd kept her mouth shut – and then he announced that I was a liar and a faggot."

Even though he'd already heard that story, Noah felt a slight chill down his spine as Luke recounted it. He brushed his hand against Luke's cheek. "I'm so sorry you had to go through that. That jerk didn't deserve your friendship, much less your love."

"Yeah, well… the thing is, I think I regressed after it happened – with being gay, I mean. I was finally starting to feel okay about it, and then someone so close to me said something so awful… it made me feel so small and insecure. So ashamed of what I was." _Just like I'm feeling right now, except for totally different reasons._ "It took a long time to recover from that."

Noah shook his head sadly. He wasn't surprised to hear this, recognizing the very things he went through during his own coming out process, but every detail of Luke's suffering pained him as well. "And then Kevin came back."

"Yep. He never said it outright, but it was pretty clear he wouldn't support the film festival. And I got thinking, no way! We want to have the festival, you actually want to submit a movie next year, and this guy who humiliated me for being gay at high school gets to ruin that? So I decided to run." He closed his eyes as he recalled the events of the past few weeks. "And it wasn't long before the festival became almost… insignificant. It was all about beating Kevin. I thought I could kill him when I saw that video they made – just the idea that he would still do that after I saved him from drowning at the lake…".

"For a student government election, it sure got out of control."

"It did," Luke agreed. "But the nastier it got, the more determined I got to win. I was scared that those feelings from high school would come back, that I'd feel ashamed of myself again, and the only way to stop that would be to beat Kevin. I never stopped to think that maybe things had gone too far. In the end, it was like this big war on homophobia. Which is so stupid, because Kevin said he's not homophobic anymore, and I honestly don't think he is. But I wasn't thinking rationally, I'd have done anything to win… even cheat."

After several moments of silence, Luke looked at his boyfriend, his expression changing. "Now, what about you? There has to be a reason why this whole Kevin thing freaked you out so much. C'mon, it's high time you told me how _you_ feel."

Noah hesitated – sharing this with Luke would be even more difficult than his earlier admission to Alison. But as he'd been the one to make the point about honesty, it would be pretty hypocritical of him to cover up his emotions now.

"Luke, I don't think I've ever had doubts about our relationship. Ever since we got together, I knew how you felt about me. You were certainly comfortable with saying it a lot earlier than I was. But when I saw Kevin and remembered what you told me about him, I guess logic went out the window. Even though we're so great together, and he's straight, and I knew there wasn't any _real_ possibility of losing you to him, it bothered me on some level."

"But you know those feelings I used to have for him are gone," Luke reminded him. "I love _you_, Noah, and no other guy stands a chance."

Noah smiled, touched as always whenever Luke declared his love. "I get that now, even though I still had to ask you about it. But there was something else. I realized that maybe you didn't have a crush on Kevin anymore, but you felt the opposite. You hated him. So much that you started acting differently. That's why you got into the race in the first place, that's why you were cool with Casey pulling off Kevin's flyers and Alison spying on him, that's why you decided to steal the election." Noah gave Luke a look fraught with significance, to make sure he understood. "Whenever I'd try to talk to you about it, you'd just get angry and shut me out. And I got so frustrated, so scared, because I _was_ losing you to Kevin… just not the way I'd imagined."

_I made him feel this way?_ Luke didn't think his regrets could get any worse, but he was wrong. He realized he hadn't spared a second thought to what Noah was going through during the campaign. In his single-minded quest to defeat Kevin, he'd missed what it was doing to him… and to Noah.

"Anyway, when we were sitting at Al's, and actually talking about whether or not you should cheat, I admit I freaked. Because even considering something like that was so unlike you, but you wouldn't listen to me when I pointed that out. And when I saw your victory party, and realized that you did it, it just broke my heart." Noah shook his head sadly as he recalled how much it hurt to stand there and look at his boyfriend through the blinds, knowing what he'd done. "I mean, I begged you not do it. I told you that I wouldn't be proud of us if you did. And then you went ahead and did it anyway. So I figured that getting back at Kevin was more important to you than we were. You hated him more than you loved me."

Noah's words hung in the air as the reason for their brief break-up finally became clear to Luke. He was horrified by the realization of how he'd made Noah feel.

"Noah… I'm still not sure what was going through my mind when I made that stupid decision. But I do know one thing, I was only thinking about Kevin. I saw him celebrating with his buddies and I lost control. I had a one-track mind: win the election at any cost. It had nothing to do with you, or what we had not being important enough to me." His voice started to shake slightly. "If I'd been thinking about you at that moment, about how much I loved you and didn't want to let you down? You can't honestly think _Kevin_ would have stood a chance, not in a million years."

With immense, cathartic relief, Noah pulled his boyfriend into another warm hug. That weight on his shoulders, that had gotten heavier and heavier ever since Kevin came back into Luke's life, seemed to have finally lifted. As they laid their heads on each other's shoulders, relishing the moment, Noah made a mental note to share as much of his feelings with Luke as possible from now on, and encourage Luke to do the same. They might be able to spare themselves a lot of pain down the road that way.

After they broke apart, Luke decided it was time for pragmatism. "Noah, I need your help. I wanna go back to school, get back on track, but I don't see how they're gonna take me back after everything. What do you think I should do?"

"Well, I can only offer advice. The other day, Lucinda told me that she and your mom were thinking of going over the dean's head, to the chancellor, since your family's donated a lot of money to the university."

"No," Luke immediately shook his head. "I'm not gonna have any strings pulled for me. If I'm gonna fix this, I gotta do it the clean way. No more cheating."

"Hear, hear," Noah said with a smile, "But that's not what I meant… just the chancellor part. You wanna convince OU to take you back, you gotta play to your strengths. Like writing." At Luke's confused face, he clarified, "I think you should write a letter to the chancellor and explain everything. Tell him _why_ you decided to steal the election, and how much you regret it."

Luke wrinkled his nose. "You want me to write down everything Kevin did to me, everything that happened during the campaign, and put that in a letter that who knows how many people – how many _strangers_ – are gonna read? You can't be serious."

"Luke," Noah sighed at the predictable response, "You should only tell them as much as you're comfortable with. I'm not expecting you to open up about private things that caused you such a hard time. But you have to give a context for what you did. If they think you just cheated because you wanted to win, that letter's not gonna do any good. But if they realize what you went through, what pushed you into that decision, then maybe we stand a chance."

"I don't know," Luke murmured skeptically. "I tell them my sob story and suddenly I'm forgiven?"

"I'm not saying it'll be that simple," Noah reasoned. "But you've never put a foot out of line before, they have to recognize how unusual this was for you. Maybe if you publicly apologize, they'll be willing to reduce it to a suspension, or something."

"I guess it's worth a shot. I'll get to work on it tonight, I promise."

"Not so fast," said Noah with a dazzling grin. "It can wait for tomorrow morning. Tonight, we are going out to dinner, my treat, and then we're gonna curl up on Emma's couch with all of your favorite movies. Yes – _your_ favorite movies, not mine," he immediately added, as Luke's jaw practically dropped.

"Wait – _my_ favorite movies?" asked Luke eagerly, giving Noah a playful nudge in the ribs. "Does that mean you're gonna sit through as many crappy action blockbusters as I care to inflict on you?"

"Don't push it, Snyder."

Tbc...


	5. Chapter 5

Whoever Kevin expected to see as he opened the door to his dorm room the next morning, it couldn't have been Luke.

"Morning, Mr. President," Luke greeted wryly, but without any hostility, which had to have surprised Kevin even more.

"Luke…" Kevin mumbled, hastily rearranging his features to make them more casual. "How're you doing?"

"I'm okay," Luke nodded solemnly. "You?"

"I'm great, can't complain," said Kevin.

Luke was pleasantly surprised that he didn't make some snide remark about how great it was to be president. After an uncomfortable silence, Kevin finally wondered, "So, uh… what are you doing here?"

"I came here to apologize," said Luke simply, inserting his hands into the pockets of his hooded sweatshirt. "No matter how angry I was at you, how much I still think that you ran a pretty nasty campaign, and that I had better ideas for the school than you did, what I did was wrong. I took away people's votes, and there's no justification for that. I'm probably gonna issue a public apology, but I still felt like you deserved one in person. More people voted for you… you won fair and square. That's how it works."

Kevin was clearly caught off guard by this. "That's, uh, nice of you. I appreciate it." There was long beat where he seemed to be struggling to say something, which wouldn't quite come out. Eventually it did. "Luke, I owe you an apology, too. Two apologies, actually."

Luke remained silent, his expression hooded.

"I'm sorry about the way I treated you in high school. The so-called apology I gave you at the hospital wasn't worth a shit. I apologized because I had no choice, you'd just saved my life… not because I understood the meaning of what I'd done. I didn't understand how wrong it was and how much I hurt you. But I get it now, and I really am sorry." He looked down at his shoes and gulped. Luke waited patiently for the rest. "And I'm sorry about the campaign. It wasn't my idea to make that stupid video or kidnap Alison Stewart or any of that stuff, and I _need_ you to know that, but I could have done a lot more to stop it. I could have told Mark that if he didn't stop that crap, I'd find a new manager… but I didn't. I guess, in the end, winning this thing was – "

" – a lot more important to you?" Luke finished the sentence. "I think I know that feeling… first-hand."

Kevin seemed a little paler than usual, but held Luke's gaze.

"I don't think you and I can be friends again," Luke admitted. "After everything, there's just too much bad blood, even more than there was two years ago." He paused to allow his words to sink in. "But I don't think we have to be enemies, either. And I don't want us to be."

"Me neither," said Kevin quietly.

"So if we're not," Luke said carefully, "Maybe we can help each other fix some of the things we've done."

"How's that?" Kevin's eyebrow creased.

Luke considered how to proceed. The conversation hadn't been easy so far, but this was going to be the most difficult part. "I'm not sure how much you know about what Mark and the other guys did to Alison. The thing is, Alison couldn't press charges against them, because there was no evidence for what happened."

"And?" Kevin said nervously. Luke got the impression that he could tell where this was going.

"Apparently, those guys were stupid enough to make a video of Alison stripping, where you can hear their voices, see their dorm room… everything. If we had that video, _that_ would be evidence."

"I don't have the video, Mark does," shot Kevin immediately.

"But you could get it," Luke stated significantly.

Kevin looked from left to right, as though searching for an escape route. Luke had never seen him look more helpless. "Luke, those guys are my friends – "

"- and they're scum. You know that as well as I do. Question is, are you gonna do what you can to make sure they don't get away with it."

Losing more of his cool with every passing moment, Kevin jabbed his finger in Luke's direction. "You know what? I am already late for class, I don't have to stand here and listen to this – "

He started to leave, but Luke, surprising even himself, blocked his way.

"You wanna go? Fine. But first, give me an answer. Look me in the eye and tell me you're gonna sit back and let your friends get away with what they did."

Kevin shook his head and gave Luke a conflicted look that was almost pitiful. "Why can't you let this go? So they made a mistake!"

"You gotta pay for your mistakes, Kevin. Believe me, I learned that one the hard way."

This was followed by a staring contest, which Kevin, of course, lost. Luke waited, determined not to leave before he got a definitive answer. Eventually, Kevin raised his eyes to Luke's, and slowly nodded.

"Alright. I'll do it. I'll get that video for you." Luke encouragingly returned the nod. "Right now, I gotta run for class, but I'll call you later today, okay?"

"Sounds good." Luke wasn't really sure what to say next. He might have thanked Kevin if he didn't feel like this was something the other man should have decided to do on his own. He ended up going in a different direction – saying something he hadn't planned to say, maybe hadn't even realized until he did. "You know, for the record, I don't hate you. I wanted to, I think it would have been easier for me if I did, but…I don't. I look at you and I don't see all the bad stuff. I see this awesome guy, this really good friend I used to have, and I'm sorry I lost him."

He found that he wasn't able to say anything else after that, not even goodbye. He turned his back on Kevin and started to walk away, but hadn't gotten very far before he heard Kevin's voice. "Luke."

He spun around to glance at Kevin, who looked hesitant but managed to say, "Tell your guy to get the cameras rolling, because… we're definitely keeping the film festival."

Luke didn't know how to react. He didn't want to offer Kevin a bright smile that would make it seem as though everything was alright between them, but he couldn't respond to this gesture with a cold glower, either. He settled for a non-committal half-smile, before taking his leave.

Noah was waiting for him at the end of the hall, leaning against the wall. "Hey. How'd it go?"

"Pretty well," Luke said gratefully. "I think I'm definitely feeling better now. And he agreed to help with Alison, too."

Noah cracked a sincere smile. "That's great. Walk me to class?"

"Sure."

Luke laced his fingers through Noah's as they began walking through campus. Of the many people they passed on their way, some offered Luke greetings and friendly smiles, which he returned in kind. Others leered at him, but somehow, Luke found that he didn't terribly mind. With Noah by his side, both literally and figuratively, it didn't seem to hurt as much.

They reached the classroom, and Luke felt that familiar little twinge of disappointment that occurred whenever he had to let go of Noah's hand. "So, uh, I guess I'd better get home. I've got quite a letter to write."

"You're gonna knock their socks off," Noah announced. "Everything you write turns into gold."

"Nice little paraphrase there," Luke grinned. "I'm definitely gonna put a lot of thought into this letter. I just hope it works…"

"If it doesn't, we'll figure out what to do," said Noah calmly. "We'll handle it, just like we always do."

Luke beamed. "Because we're in this together, right?"

"Damn straight."

- End


End file.
